Modesty

I’m obsessed with a good plunge neckline. Heck, I’m a sucker for a plunge back too! My excuse for wearing what I want is that my humble breasts and baby cakes keep me modest. I believe it is much easier to get past the side eye of those wanting to pass judgement, if you are slim. My excuse has nothing to do with the reaction of others because I still get pulled aside by people wanting to tell me what I should wear but I digress. What really sucks is that I know if I was curvy, every once in a while, I’d want to flaunt that too! I salute those who are comfortable enough with who they are to wear what makes them feel beautiful despite what others think. (Here’s the kicker): Yet, there’s still a part of me that feels a certain amount of discretion should be used in certain environments. Basically, there’s a time and place for everything.There’s a lot of internet buzz surrounding a comment someone made towards  Meagan Good at an event I attended on Sunday (awesome event btw, watch here). The audience member suggested that since Good is a Christian, she should “cover up”.   This lady hit a nerve among a lot of us because her comment suggested 1. someone could be less of a Christian solely based on how they dress and 2. what Meagan has to offer would be better received if she dressed differently.  This train of thought is what I believe turns people away from the church.  I see it no differently than someone saying the value of one’s words are predetermined by their race. To me, Christianity will look different on everyone because we all come from different cultures, life experiences, backgrounds that shape our ideals. What do you think? Is there a double standard for the slim vs the curvy? Should that double standard be taken into account when getting dressed? Is there a unspoken rulebook that states a Christian shall not show cleavage (because the bible doesn’t)? Are you a better Christian if you wear more clothes? Am I no different from the member because I’ve allowed my figure to give me a “pass”? Share your thoughts in the comments below, I want to know!

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Thanks for reading!

All photos by Ned!

Zac Posen for Target Dress (old), Nasty Gal heels (old)

8 Comments
  • IMAN
    Posted at 19:24h, 19 February Reply

    In my opinion Christianity has nothing to do with how you look or how you present yourself – I completely agree when you say that this way of thinking makes a lot of people turn away from it. I think instead of caring so much about what people wear, what we should focus on is their intentions, and what they bring to the world. Man do people get distracted sometimes…
    On another note you look fabulous Thaina! Yes and yes to this blue gem of a dress!
    Much love xx

    IMAN | MANIGAZER

  • Tayllor
    Posted at 21:50h, 16 February Reply

    I love that you asked “where is the line drawn”. I think that’s going to vary per person and sometimes there is no point in trying to please the Christian community because everyone draws their line in a slightly different place. I often get worried about which pictures I should post to my Facebook depending on my outfit, but then I have to remember that other people’s opinions don’t define my relationship with God (thankfully). So no we shouldn’t have to stop smiling because it turns someone on, haha they might as well tell us to wear bags over ourselves!

  • Ari
    Posted at 15:48h, 16 February Reply

    I agree agree agree with you!! I think that Christians are especially quick to tell other about what they’re not doing that “un-Christian”. I’ve had many a “church folk” tell me that a neckline was a leeeeettle too low to be considered Christian. With being said, I do think that knowing your body type plays into modesty. For example. You dress is FYYY-er!!!! It’s chic and trendy but also modest. On a girl like me who has a bigger bust wearing that same dress could be “suggestive” and overtly sexually because I’d have cleavage all out there.

    The woman that called Meagan out had a point but she was disrespectful. I think if she presented her point differently they could e really gotten a great conversation going. On the other hand, no. Megan’s relationship with God doesn’t diminish because she may like a plunging neckline. Her ability to relate to those who consider her apparel choices riskè may be slighted, but she probably relates to and is able to share her story with others who don’t think her choices aren’t that big a deal.

    God made us each with a specific purpose. Your intention for that purpose is what will Determine your positive impact or not. I don’t think Meagan’s intention is negative.

    • Thaina
      Posted at 21:01h, 16 February Reply

      Yes! That’s exactly how I felt about the lady’s comment. The notion that Meagan’s event, book, thoughts or words had less value because of her style just irritated me. I’ve met shiny people with nothing good to say and learned a lot of valuable lessons from unkept men. Appearance is all based on preference and circumstance, it has nothing to do with what’s in your heart. Thank you for sharing!

  • infashionitrust
    Posted at 15:27h, 16 February Reply

    Love your outfit btw! Lol I got all caught up in my comment. Beautiful as always!

  • infashionitrust
    Posted at 15:27h, 16 February Reply

    I think the narrative with how women dress is based on a scripture somewhere in the Bible saying women shouldn’t cause a man to lust. I personally feel that same narrative should be applied to men lol but I remember Erica from Mary Mary got heat when she wore a fitted long sleeve midi turtleneck dress for a mag cover (like, how much more covered up can you get!!?!) and ppl were saying that her dress was too tight *insert eye roll here* I thought her outfit was bomb! And modest. Realistically, majority of women have curves. We shouldn’t be subjected
    To wearing frompy clothes for the sake of a man who can’t control his emotions or thoughts. I do agree that as women we shouldn’t be showing everything to everyone (which is an unpopular opinion these days), but I also agree that clothes are meant to flatter a woman’s body, not drown her in it.

    • Thaina
      Posted at 19:57h, 16 February Reply

      Thank you for your compliment and thoughts, love! I love that you gave the example of Erica’s cover because its an example of how women are judged no matter what we wear.Maybe it isn’t about the item of clothing at all. Perhaps its the way a woman carries herself that puts her in the position to be judged. Personally, I think confidence in a woman scares people and keeps her talked about but what do I know?! lol. I’m a bit conflicted because I believe a woman with class will use discernment in her choices and ask herself “will this be a stumbling block for others?” The issue with this is that everyone’s answer is different. Also, my reservation with the narrative is that there are so many things that cause a man to lust. I was once told by a guy that my smile turns him on. Should I now stop smiling? I don’t think so. I also can appreciate what you said about a woman with curves wearing frumpy clothes. That wouldn’t be fair at all! Labels are put on curvier girls that wear certain things that I would wear but wouldn’t get the negative label. Heck, my sister is curvier and I’d even suggest to her that she shouldn’t wear things (that I would) because of what other people would think. What I’d like to know is where the line is drawn. I want to know if its even profitable to change your personal style in order to please the Christian community.

      • infashionitrust
        Posted at 20:39h, 16 February Reply

        totally agree! it’s one of “those” things that I feel will probably never have a definitive answer but it’s def a conversation sparker lol

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